How Many Sides have You Got?

One of my 'sides' - fundraiser for Hounds For Heroes

One of the things I enjoy most about my job is finding out more about the people I work with and the people that I come into contact with. Yes, we all usually have weddings as a large part of our make-up but there's more to us all than that.

Hobbies, interests, passions, likes - they all come together to make us, well, us and it's always really interesting to see these wonderful wedding professionals as multi-dimensional, multi-faceted people that have so much more experience and knowledge than is often seen and we bring all of this to our work life too. We don't switch off between places - what we learn in one part of our life comes with us to another. All experiences, good and bad stay with us. So it's important to get a grip of this. How can you hope to get the best out of people when you only know a tiny part of what makes them tick?

It's quite often the things that sit behind the work facade that provide the depth to the person. Yes, we love our jobs and we're passionate about them but they're not 'the whole us'. There's more to be seen, there's more to find out and there's more to understand.

So, have a think - what do you bring to your work party? What comes with you to work from the rest of your life? What experiences have you had that might be holding you back? What are your private 'best bits' that could be used to get your professional life moving? What do you have that sets you apart from everyone else?

Because ultimately, that's what we're looking for - those oh-so special bits of you that no-one else has. You're always going to have competitors (and imitators too if you're unlucky/so good that people can't help but copy) but what no-one else can ever have is your unique mix of life experiences and your approach to your life. And I mean your whole life, not just work, not just your non-work life, the whole crazy, special mix. This is why 'behind the scenes' tweets are so popular and why personal snapshots and insights into our wider lives work so well with clients - because we show ourselves as real people, not simply as wedding automatons.

In an industry where clients buy into people, into personalities they trust, don't you think it's really important to know who you are? Because until you know who you are, how can you even begin to standout?

My New Favourite Word...

Last Friday, my son's school held its annual Speech Day. I love Speech Day as it's a wonderful opportunity to see all the work the children have put in through the year, there are performances from the choirs and orchestras, the parents all dress up (ooo, get me!) and there's tea and cakes in the quad. But, undoubtedly, the main purpose of Speech Day is, well, the speeches.

Aside from children being given prizes, the Headmaster giving the highlights of the year and some of the 13 year old Leavers giving speeches, there's always a guest speaker, a head from another school and this year, the guest of honour was Thomas Garnier from Pangbourne College.

And his speech was fifteen minutes of fantastic.

Encouraging the children to 'live life like a Labrador puppy', he talked about the three qualities that make Labradors so great - they're curious, they spread joy and they're wholehearted.

Now, you might know I have a Labrador myself so this was bound to connect with me but it was that last word, wholehearted, that really struck a cord and is indeed, my new favourite word.

I am so happy to work with a group of fabulous wedding professionals, all of whom are completely wholehearted about what they do. They love their work and they are utterly committed to doing something special, something different, something amazing and they all do it wholeheartedly.

You see, we all want to see passion in others. We are enthused, motivated and inspired when we are in the company of people who love what they do and who throw themselves completely into their work, their hobbies or their projects.

By being wholehearted, not only do we act like lovely little radiators to others, warming them up and sharing our dedication and enjoyment with them but we allow ourselves to be happy. If you're secretly (or not so secretly) resenting what you're doing, it's pretty impossible to be happy with your lot. Yes, we've all got those ever-present things on the to-do list that we don't enjoy but it's important to keep an eye on the bigger picture and getting those tiny tasks off the list frees us to get on with the things that really push our buttons.

Look at the dictionary definition above. Aren't those all the things you'd want to see in your colleagues and aren't they also the things your clients want to see in you? Being wholehearted seems like a bit of a business imperative doesn't it?

We all need a little reminder every now and again of the things that are really important, the things that make us stand out and the things that make us us. And we need to remember, in the middle of wedding crazy season when the days are long and the working day seems longer, why we love what we do and why we're all really rather lucky to be able to do it. Let's throw ourselves into the opportunities of every day rather than dancing around on the sidelines, hoping to be picked for the team.

So perhaps wholehearted might be a word to remember for us all...

16th June 2013 - The Week That Was

Firstly, happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there - hope you've all been suitably treated all day. Secondly, I am sure that days are no longer 24 hours long because there is no way that we can be at Sunday again.

But then, it's been a packed out week, a real tale of two halves - flat out work or out and about fun. And it's been a great week, lots has been achieved and lots of things that have been on my list for a while have been happily (and in some cases, smugly) ticked off. So, here's a little run-down of what's been going on here...

• A 'happy anniversary' for Mr Apple & I - a day out with a little bit of history and, last night, a dinner for two at the rather beautiful Sir Charles Napier in Oxfordshire which might be my new favourite place.
• Son's school Summer picnic - a day of fun, games, food & ice cream.
• Trying to shake the grey weather with some summer weather clothes shopping whilst looking forward to our sunny summer getaway.
• Talking to some lovely journalists about some great projects & features.
• Writing writing writing. Lots.
• Realising I probably enjoy filing and organising a little more than is good for me. Nothing like a well ordered client file to make me happy.
• An invitation to a rather great summer party. Obviously said invitation came with an obligatory wardrobe crisis.
• Having a bit of a re-invigoration of my office space. A tidy and a few nice new bits on order should all help - just need some better weather so my workroom is less fridge-esque and more warm & welcoming.
• Indulging with some 'me' time - thanks to the Clarins Spa girls at John Lewis Reading.
• Starting work with a beautiful new client.

10 Years On... Memories Of My First Wedding

Me, 10 Years Ago!

I truly can't believe that my first wedding was ten years ago. Ten years?! It seems like yesterday but, at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago too. So much has changed for me since then that looking back at this almost feels like I'm squinting back at someone else.

For those of you that don't know the story, I was inspired to start my company, which I called 'TK on the Day' (catchy huh?!) after my own wedding which is, the biggest cliche going right? Oh dear. I didn't want to be a wedding planner, but I knew from my day and from doing a little research, that there was a gap in the market for what I called 'on the day co-ordination'. Which does partly explain/excuse the company name anyway.

I started the business on less than £100 and within the first week, after a few mentions on a wedding forum, I had bookings. It was slightly unbelievable. I hadn't expected interest this quickly so, when the first bride asked for a brochure, I had to write it pretty quickly. When she then wanted to book, I had to design the booking form pretty flipping quickly. It was all a bit of a shock.

Right from the word go, I felt very strongly that I had to be myself. I couldn't put on an act of fake sweetness or contrived fluffiness. That wasn't, isn't, me. I put everything together so it reflected me in the hope it would attract like-minded brides. And it did.

My first couple were lovely. Their wedding, in beautiful Haselmere was followed by a marquee reception at home. It was exceptionally hard work, possibly the hardest wedding I've ever worked by my goodness, did I enjoy it. I loved getting everything set up, liaising with suppliers, helping the guests, dealing with little issues  and most of all, I adored the challenge of it. The need to keep calm and carry on while underneath the in control exterior, I was a bundle of nerves. I knew I needed to look confident and be decisive, whatever happened. The years of leadership training in the Air Cadets really paid off here and I kept chanting in my head 'fake it until you make it', reminding myself that the guests would never know this was my first wedding unless I gave them cause to doubt me.

Now I've started writing this post, it strikes me just how much I can remember - I remember the bow on the gate to the house, the candle tablecentres, the black and white dancefloor, the huge vase of garden flowers with the table plan propped by it, the deaf guest who hurt his hand, the way the heat built up in the marquee, the bride's face when she arrived after the ceremony and lighting tealight after tealight as dusk fell.

The wedding day was one of the record-breakingly hot days of summer 2003. I was on my feet for more than 15 hours that day and when I drove home, my feet were so swollen, I couldn't change gear. I hadn't drunk enough, I'd barely eaten, I could hardly stand up and I spent much of the next day on the sofa. But, I'd done it and I'd done it well. The bride and groom e-mailed their thanks along with the photo they'd requested of me with them and they were thrilled and I was overjoyed.

The little fledgling business idea I'd had whilst on honeymoon was up and running. And I was running it.

My little baby had just taken its first steps.

9th June 2013 - The Week That Was

My goodness me, here I am on a Sunday again. It's been a while since I wrote one of these posts and I've missed them but everything has been so busy busy busy here, it's unbelievable. I am loving my life at the moment - refreshed after a holiday, wonderful clients who make me smile every day and lots of other brilliant bits all combine to make me very very grateful. Plus, it's even been a bit warm and a bit sunny. The words 'falling into place' and 'everything' spring to mind.

So, without further ado, here's the week that was...

• A brilliant day with my son at England v New Zealand cricket. I absolutely couldn't have asked for a better day.
• Analysing a survey I'm managing for a client and being incredibly happy with the results.
• An afternoon in the son watching Son play a great school cricket match.
• Gundog training with my beautiful dog and feeling like things are starting to click.
• The most amazing meeting in London with two inspiring, fantastic women and new projects on the horizon.
• A trip to Winchester, great shopping and a lovely lunch.
• Being inspired to revive an old book project, give it another go and being blown away by the response.
• Son writing his first blog post and getting great feedback.
• Sunny days in the garden, beavering away and peering vaguely at my laptop's screen but not caring because, finally, the sun is out!
• A blog I wrote about a charity 60km walk I took part in being used by the organisers to promote next year's event.
• Our local village carnival in the sunshine.
• Remembering my Grandad on the 69th anniversary of D-Day and loving the DDay7 tweets.
• Indulging my Mitford addiction by reading Diana's autobiography.
• Feeling like the work I'm doing for clients is making a real difference for them.
• A bit of 'me' time with some magazines and a cuppa. It's the simple things.

Thoughts On Holiday

We're feeling very refreshed at Candid Apple HQ on this sunny Monday morning as we're just back from a week of walking in the Lake District (also managed a sneaky trip to Holbeck Ghyll for some spa treatments and delicious food too so hurrah for that!)

Up until recently, I'd never quite appreciated the effect that holidays can have on you. I now look forward to them as much for the almost inevitable work-related epiphany as I do for the experience of going somewhere and doing something different for a week or so.

In the run-up to this break, I'd been flat out - projects, wonderful clients, writing work and home-life had been so busy there was no space for head-space. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy but sometimes, you need time-out to really be able to think clearly.

I know I am so lucky with my work. I have a flexibility, creativity and I get to work with some truly gorgeous people. I can, hand on heart, say I love what I do. And heaven knows, that's worth everything.

But my personal passion is writing. I just adore it. The whole process, whether it's scribbling in a notebook or typing furiously at my laptop makes me happy. And knowing what makes you happy is incredibly important - without understanding that, how can you ever feel satisfied? Surely you're just drifting some one experience to another without ever topping up your tanks of feel-good happiness, hoping beyond hope that happiness will just fall into your lap or that someone or something else will create it all for you and ta-da, you'll magically be happy.

It just doesn't work like that.

Being able to realise, in the moment, what makes your heart sing is, in my humble opinion, so incredibly important it should be taught in schools, it should be an essential part of the curriculum. Too many of us let exceptional moments slip by un-noticed because we're looking for the next thing in the hope that that will be 'it', the elusive experience that is the answer to everything. When you live like that, you get to the end of too many days and feel let down.

No, sometimes it's not easy to create little snippets of joy in the everyday rush but if you don't notice them or don't acknowledge them, you're going to spend a long time hunting for happiness when really, it can be all around you all the time.

Writing this post has made me happy. The fact my dog is by my feet as I type has made me smile. The view outside of blue skies and green grass makes me content. Yes, I have some challenges and things in my life that make me want to scream sometimes but do you know what - when it all gets too much, at least I know what to do to put myself in a good place.

And do you know what,buoyed by my holiday happiness, I might have started on book number three...

Instantly & Individual - Instagram

Hello again you lovely readers and we know it's been a while since we last posted but my goodness, we've been as busy as bees, beavers and other industrious animals. Some wonderful new clients we might just be a bit in love with, writing projects, meetings, charity work and of course, we've been trying to have a bit of downtime somewhere in there too.

Anyway, we promise, hand on heart, not to leave you for so long again. But we wanted to just remind you that you can always find Candid Apple on Twitter and we're big fans of Instagram too where you can follow us too - Candid Apple. Go on, we'd love it if you did.

There's something so lovely about sharing images - an image can tell many tales and give a wonderful behind-the-scenes look at life. It's also quick and easy which probably explains why we've been using it so much recently!

Instagram works perfectly for everyone in the wedding industry. We all love a bit of the pretty or a glimpse at new, unusual or personal things. We're generally quite visual people with a strong sense of what we like and what appeals. We also love to share and to connect and we love to be ourselves. As full-on wedding season approaches, Instagram is a great way to stay connected with clients, to inspire them and to stay social without having to write blogs or tie yourself up in tweets.

So, if you've not been following us on Instagram, here's a little snapshot (see what we did there?!) of our last few weeks...

We use the 'Fancy Frame' app to create these images.

On the Hounds For Heroes walk for this great charity

There were new dogs in the family too

Out for a walk when visiting family in Sussex - love this view

Meetings in London always lead to the purchase of treats!

We really do love bluebells

The app from 'A Beautiful Mess' lets you pimp your pics!

A 60km walk for Hounds For Heroes - read more here