Why You Shouldn't Work In The Wedding Industry

It makes me feel positively ancient to admit it but it's almost a decade since I ran my first workshop for wannabe wedding planners and, in one way or another, I've been coaching, helping and working with start-ups and established businesses ever since.

There are so many reasons why the wedding industry (I actually hate that phrase but that's another post for another time) continues to be such a career draw for people and this niche market is home to some of the most talented, individual, unique and caring professionals out there. There is not a day that goes by when I do not say 'I'm proud to be a part of this'. In short, the UK wedding industry totally rocks. It's vibrant, creative, passionate and friendly. It is, without doubt, bloody brilliant.

However for every reason why people want to work in this sector, there are reasons why they shouldn't. And these aren't little reasons either. They are huge, gargantuan reasons, the proverbial elephant in the room of reasons but still they manage to get ignored, whether by accident or because people have their eyes screwed shut so they can't see them. But my friends, fear not, because I will unleash my inner slab faced realist and outline them all here for you so you can, never again, plead ignorance.

So, you shouldn't work in the wedding industry if...

1. ... you want to be creative all the time -  every creative still has to file tax returns, deal with expenses and invoices, keep up to date with admin and make time for the mundane, especially at the start when it's unlikely you'll be able to afford other people to do this for you. Ask anyone how long they spend working on their businesses as opposed to in it and you'll see the actual time spent in creative abandon is limited.
2. ... you want to work on your own - a wedding is a team effort. If you can't handle trusting the other professionals, if you want to control everything yourself or if you can't grasp the fact that you're not amazing at everything, then step away from the wedding job. The most amazing things I've ever been a part of if when I'm a tiny cog in a much bigger wheel - your Mastermind specialist subject isn't the entire industry, it's a little part of it. In short, you'll be more of a team player than you ever have been before.
3. ... you desperately need a steady, full-time salary - if you're used to money appearing in your bank account on a nice, regular monthly basis without having to really stop and think where it's coming from then give yourself a slap now and repeat the words 'it's down to me to earn my money' over and over until you're saying it in your sleep. Then remember that lots of wedding professionals are amazing whilst also holding down another job because it takes a long time to build up momentum, a long time to earn back all those start-up costs and a long time to be able to pay yourself that nice regular salary. It takes a bride a long time to plan a wedding, it takes a wedding business a long time to see a regular turnover.
4. ... you don't cope well with rejection - the fact is that you're going to be knocked back. Potential clients will choose someone else, potential collaborations won't pan out, promised coverage won't come off, ideas will be rejected and you're not going to be universally loved. You need to hold onto your idea in your way and be true to you and you will build up a network of like-minded wedding pals and you'll appeal to brides who think you're just the best. But it takes time, tenacity and the ability to bounce on back like a boomerang. Again. And again.
5. ... you love your weekends - if every weekend is about lay-ins, long walks, late nights on the lash and happy carefree days sans responsibility then don't quit the day job. Weddings are usually at weekends, clients don't often work weekends so want to meet you then, wedding fairs/fayres/showcases/open days are at weekends and you'll have to be there. Saturdays are the new Monday.
6. ... you don't have a great support network - you're going to need someone to pick you up or talk you down from crazy flights of fantasy and remind you that this is a business not a dream. You're going to need someone who can run the house/look after the kids/not go mad through loneliness when you're out doing you're thing. You're also going to need someone who doesn't go ballistic when it's 9pm on a Wednesday and you're addicted to #weddinghour on twitter. In short, you need people around you who get you and who get why this is so important to you and want nothing more than to see you fly.
7. ... you want a super glam life - or, alternatively, realise that Instragram lies. For every photo posted of an award ceremony, a dinner, a cake tasting or a glam photoshoot, there are hundreds of untaken snaps of dull days at desks, crazed faces after late nights in front of a laptop or blistered feet after a long wedding day. Who wants to see pics of business plans, financial forecasts or that cup of coffee that's gone cold after a long, slightly ill-timed phone call? Yes, there are many, many great moments but, as the bride wears the unattractive underwear to hold it all together under the designer gown, wedding professionals work sodding hard to look relaxed.
8. ... you're all about spontaneity - when you get into weddings, you're going to get booked up months & years in advance. Weddings require long term commitment, not just from the people taking the vows but from all those beavering away behind the scenes. 
9. ... you just love the romance of weddings - it is undeniably wonderful to spend your time at  weddings. However, you're working now, you're not a guest and you're certainly not the bride or the centre of attention. If you've got unresolved issues about your own wedding/marriage/divorce/dress/flowers, get professional help - don't try to become the professional help that others turn to for their own big day.
10. ... you think you're done with learning - if you can't keep your mind open, if you don't want to improve yourself, stretch yourself, challenge yourself and constantly constantly better yourself and help those around you to get better too then think again my friend. Whether you're reading a blog post full of stuff you didn't know, attending workshops or just meeting new people who open your eyes to new possibilities, you're going to be learning every single day. 

Feeling a bit down? A bit bruised and battered? Loathing me for sucking the life out of this amazing industry? That's ok because if this is the blog equivalent of those excruciating biology lessons where your teachers told you all about sex in a way that made you never ever want to take your clothes off, let along do it, Monday's post will be more like a gossipy session with your friends when everything seemed like much more fun...

Lessons From The Winter Olympics

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I have been in sport heaven over the last few days. The background to my working day has been half-pipes, hog lines, triple toe loops and power-plays. I have been quite the winter Olympics addict.

For me, as someone who regularly takes on crazy endurance walking challenges (100 km in 20 hours - who's with me?), I always see lots of parallels between sport and business. Indeed Mr Apple's brother uses the skills he's developed in coaching some amazing triathletes to also work with businesses and board members. It's all about challenge, perspective, improvement, practice and feedback.

Anyway, the sport that has swept me away this year is curling (see what I did there?). And no,  I'm not just talking about the oh-my merits of the 'Men of Curling' calendar or the visual excitement of the Norwegian men's team trousers. Oh no, there's lots to learn with curling even if, like me, the mere prospect of slithering out on the ice and trying to vaguely remain upright is something you know to be well beyond you.

So, as a little homage to the men and women, here's my take on the lessons that curling can teach us...

• Feedback is best when you get it at the time - each player gets a review of their stone straight away so they can adjust what they're doing straight away. There's no point waiting until after the game and then saying 'oh, you could have done that differently'. The same is true at work - keep checking in with people, get the feedback, adjust if necessary and get better. Ignorance might be bliss but not for long.
• Plan to adapt - yes, yes, you need a plan. You need to know what, all things being equal, you'd like to happen. However, things are very rarely equal and that's when you need to adapt and respond. Having to change your plan when you're mid way through it isn't a disaster, sticking to the plan regardless of what's going on around you is. 
• Bounce like Tigger - bad stuff happens, bad days happen but you still have to bounce back. I don't mean that you need to become some kind of emotionless automaton but you need to find away to brush the disappointment aside and get on with it. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, other people just have a better day than you. Look at what happened, learn what you can and move on.
• Communicate - I love the way the curlers communicate with each other but please don't feel you need to slide on your knee along the office floor shouting 'haaaaaaarrrrrdddddd' at your team for them to understand what it is you want. But you do need to communicate clearly, with feeling and with passion. Don't keep you head down, doing your own thing in the hope that everyone around you has been blessed with psychic skills. Look up and communicate.
• Practice, practice, practice - the majority of these curlers are full-time professionals. They're in the gym, they're on the ice, they work with nutritionists and psychologists and all of this work makes them better. They take what they do seriously and they know you get better by working at it. Medals, awards, wins and plaudits don't come to you by divine right. They come after months and years of slog. There are no shortcuts to fabulousness.
• Support crews - the British curlers have a great support team (including someone who's been there, done that in terms of winning a gold medal) to encourage, advise and keep them relaxed and happy. They also have their families and friends in the crowd and support is key. Losses are easier to take and victories are all the sweeter when you have people around you to share them with.
• You're in this for the long-haul - this is a long game, with ups and downs, twists and turns and good moments and bad. But you need to keep your eye on the prize, work, work work and never, ever give up because all it needs is a tiny little thing to change everything.

How Many Sides have You Got?

One of my 'sides' - fundraiser for Hounds For Heroes

One of the things I enjoy most about my job is finding out more about the people I work with and the people that I come into contact with. Yes, we all usually have weddings as a large part of our make-up but there's more to us all than that.

Hobbies, interests, passions, likes - they all come together to make us, well, us and it's always really interesting to see these wonderful wedding professionals as multi-dimensional, multi-faceted people that have so much more experience and knowledge than is often seen and we bring all of this to our work life too. We don't switch off between places - what we learn in one part of our life comes with us to another. All experiences, good and bad stay with us. So it's important to get a grip of this. How can you hope to get the best out of people when you only know a tiny part of what makes them tick?

It's quite often the things that sit behind the work facade that provide the depth to the person. Yes, we love our jobs and we're passionate about them but they're not 'the whole us'. There's more to be seen, there's more to find out and there's more to understand.

So, have a think - what do you bring to your work party? What comes with you to work from the rest of your life? What experiences have you had that might be holding you back? What are your private 'best bits' that could be used to get your professional life moving? What do you have that sets you apart from everyone else?

Because ultimately, that's what we're looking for - those oh-so special bits of you that no-one else has. You're always going to have competitors (and imitators too if you're unlucky/so good that people can't help but copy) but what no-one else can ever have is your unique mix of life experiences and your approach to your life. And I mean your whole life, not just work, not just your non-work life, the whole crazy, special mix. This is why 'behind the scenes' tweets are so popular and why personal snapshots and insights into our wider lives work so well with clients - because we show ourselves as real people, not simply as wedding automatons.

In an industry where clients buy into people, into personalities they trust, don't you think it's really important to know who you are? Because until you know who you are, how can you even begin to standout?

My New Favourite Word...

Last Friday, my son's school held its annual Speech Day. I love Speech Day as it's a wonderful opportunity to see all the work the children have put in through the year, there are performances from the choirs and orchestras, the parents all dress up (ooo, get me!) and there's tea and cakes in the quad. But, undoubtedly, the main purpose of Speech Day is, well, the speeches.

Aside from children being given prizes, the Headmaster giving the highlights of the year and some of the 13 year old Leavers giving speeches, there's always a guest speaker, a head from another school and this year, the guest of honour was Thomas Garnier from Pangbourne College.

And his speech was fifteen minutes of fantastic.

Encouraging the children to 'live life like a Labrador puppy', he talked about the three qualities that make Labradors so great - they're curious, they spread joy and they're wholehearted.

Now, you might know I have a Labrador myself so this was bound to connect with me but it was that last word, wholehearted, that really struck a cord and is indeed, my new favourite word.

I am so happy to work with a group of fabulous wedding professionals, all of whom are completely wholehearted about what they do. They love their work and they are utterly committed to doing something special, something different, something amazing and they all do it wholeheartedly.

You see, we all want to see passion in others. We are enthused, motivated and inspired when we are in the company of people who love what they do and who throw themselves completely into their work, their hobbies or their projects.

By being wholehearted, not only do we act like lovely little radiators to others, warming them up and sharing our dedication and enjoyment with them but we allow ourselves to be happy. If you're secretly (or not so secretly) resenting what you're doing, it's pretty impossible to be happy with your lot. Yes, we've all got those ever-present things on the to-do list that we don't enjoy but it's important to keep an eye on the bigger picture and getting those tiny tasks off the list frees us to get on with the things that really push our buttons.

Look at the dictionary definition above. Aren't those all the things you'd want to see in your colleagues and aren't they also the things your clients want to see in you? Being wholehearted seems like a bit of a business imperative doesn't it?

We all need a little reminder every now and again of the things that are really important, the things that make us stand out and the things that make us us. And we need to remember, in the middle of wedding crazy season when the days are long and the working day seems longer, why we love what we do and why we're all really rather lucky to be able to do it. Let's throw ourselves into the opportunities of every day rather than dancing around on the sidelines, hoping to be picked for the team.

So perhaps wholehearted might be a word to remember for us all...

16th June 2013 - The Week That Was

Firstly, happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there - hope you've all been suitably treated all day. Secondly, I am sure that days are no longer 24 hours long because there is no way that we can be at Sunday again.

But then, it's been a packed out week, a real tale of two halves - flat out work or out and about fun. And it's been a great week, lots has been achieved and lots of things that have been on my list for a while have been happily (and in some cases, smugly) ticked off. So, here's a little run-down of what's been going on here...

• A 'happy anniversary' for Mr Apple & I - a day out with a little bit of history and, last night, a dinner for two at the rather beautiful Sir Charles Napier in Oxfordshire which might be my new favourite place.
• Son's school Summer picnic - a day of fun, games, food & ice cream.
• Trying to shake the grey weather with some summer weather clothes shopping whilst looking forward to our sunny summer getaway.
• Talking to some lovely journalists about some great projects & features.
• Writing writing writing. Lots.
• Realising I probably enjoy filing and organising a little more than is good for me. Nothing like a well ordered client file to make me happy.
• An invitation to a rather great summer party. Obviously said invitation came with an obligatory wardrobe crisis.
• Having a bit of a re-invigoration of my office space. A tidy and a few nice new bits on order should all help - just need some better weather so my workroom is less fridge-esque and more warm & welcoming.
• Indulging with some 'me' time - thanks to the Clarins Spa girls at John Lewis Reading.
• Starting work with a beautiful new client.

Instantly & Individual - Instagram

Hello again you lovely readers and we know it's been a while since we last posted but my goodness, we've been as busy as bees, beavers and other industrious animals. Some wonderful new clients we might just be a bit in love with, writing projects, meetings, charity work and of course, we've been trying to have a bit of downtime somewhere in there too.

Anyway, we promise, hand on heart, not to leave you for so long again. But we wanted to just remind you that you can always find Candid Apple on Twitter and we're big fans of Instagram too where you can follow us too - Candid Apple. Go on, we'd love it if you did.

There's something so lovely about sharing images - an image can tell many tales and give a wonderful behind-the-scenes look at life. It's also quick and easy which probably explains why we've been using it so much recently!

Instagram works perfectly for everyone in the wedding industry. We all love a bit of the pretty or a glimpse at new, unusual or personal things. We're generally quite visual people with a strong sense of what we like and what appeals. We also love to share and to connect and we love to be ourselves. As full-on wedding season approaches, Instagram is a great way to stay connected with clients, to inspire them and to stay social without having to write blogs or tie yourself up in tweets.

So, if you've not been following us on Instagram, here's a little snapshot (see what we did there?!) of our last few weeks...

We use the 'Fancy Frame' app to create these images.

On the Hounds For Heroes walk for this great charity

There were new dogs in the family too

Out for a walk when visiting family in Sussex - love this view

Meetings in London always lead to the purchase of treats!

We really do love bluebells

The app from 'A Beautiful Mess' lets you pimp your pics!

A 60km walk for Hounds For Heroes - read more here

It's All About The Money Money Money

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This image seems particularly appropriate today after I read a piece in Business Money Magazine saying that 1 in 10 SMEs are owed around £50,000 in late payments.

Apparently, around £30.2bn is owed in late payments in the UK and small businesses seem to be being hit the hardest.

Most small business owners report that large companies frequently ignore payment terms and basically pay up when they're good and ready, banking on the fact that small businesses are unlikely to have the staff or money to spend chasing for payments.

And it's having a huge impact - 23% of companies report that they're concerned about the impact that late payments will have on their business.

It sucks. Totally.

How many of us have been in the position of having done some work, submitted the invoice with payment terms on only to have it ignored? How many of us have been given the "we can't find your purchase order" or "we don't have your payment details" excuses despite the fact that we've got copies of paperwork clearly showing all of this?

So, here are a few tips to help you get your money:

1. Include your bank details and payment terms on every invoice that you submit and make sure they're so clear no-one could miss them. Also include the date as clearly as possible.
2. Submit invoices to a named person, not a general 'invoices@' account. Always get a read receipt or call to confirm all is ok.
3. Start chasing for payment the minute a payment deadline is missed.
4. Try and keep payment terms down - 7 or 14 days is way better than 30 days (which can then stretch to 50 or 60 before you finally see your money).
5. Be polite but firm. Ask for a date when the payment will be made and be prepared for all the old "you've missed the payment run" or "the person needed to sign off your invoice isn't in this week". Keep on asking for a date.
6. A good first step for an overdue invoice is a statement - it list the invoice number/s outstanding and amounts. It allows a company to highlight any genuine issues to you and it makes you look professional.
7. If you get the 'cheque is in the post' excuse ask for the date of the cheque, the cheque number and the address to which it was posted. 
8. Keep dated notes of everything you've submitted, asked and been told should anything be needed further down the line.
9. Keep your focus on the accounts department for payment - it limits the chances of souring the relationship with the people you've been working for but if you're really not getting anywhere, go back to your original client.
10. If it comes to it, don't be afraid to use the law - it's there to protect you, not them.

You deserve to get your money because [hair toss moment] you're worth it.

Summer Special 2 - Fab Follow-Ups

So, with wedding season upon us, wedding fair season is pretty much behind us. And how was it for you? Lots of enquiries? Lots of contacts? Lots of requests for information?

Today's Summer Special is designed to help you make the most of your information and your investment.

We'll design a brilliant, interesting and attention-grabbing follow-up schedule for you so you can work those contacts and make the most of those enquiries. We know finding the time to send just one follow up to everyone who left their details can be hard but did you know that some experts say you should aim to follow up for at least a year. Yes, that's right - a whole year of follow-ups.

And you know that makes sense - not everyone books everything for their wedding straight after attending a wedding fair or exhibition. So you need to follow up, stay in touch and keep your brand at the forefront of your potential client's minds.

• If you'd like us to just review your schedule and come up with a plan including ideas and incentives for you, our Summer Special offer is a very budget-friendly £25.
• If you'd like us to write some sparkling copy for you, it's £15 per message (to a maximum of 500 words).

As with our Brilliant Blogs offer, we've got limited space in our diary so e-mail thecandidapple@gmail.com and let's get started.

When you've invested all that money in attending a fair, you also need to invest in following up your leads.

But I Didn't Say Anything - Thoughts On Communication

As I'm sure many of you are aware, it's the school holidays at the moment. Don't get me wrong, most of the time I enjoy having the kids around - we do stuff, we hang out, we go on trips and try new things. But, now they're all growing up, they're also growing attitude.

"But I didn't say anything" is becoming their standard response when they're called back after slouching out of the room. The fact that they look like they've lost the ability to stand upright or the fact that they're huffing and puffing like a marathon runner and rolling their eyes doesn't seem to count.

But, as my favourite NLP saying goes - you can't not communicate. We're always doing it - our posture, our facial expressions, our gestures all communicate so loudly that sometimes, the words (or lack of them) just don't matter. We can all say words, we can all say what we think people what to hear but the real communication goes much deeper than that. This might be why I much prefer meeting people and getting the whole message than just talking to them on the phone and only getting half the story.

So what is it you're not not communicating? What messages are you giving out to clients in what you say and how you're behaving? Because we're always communicating, we tend to do most of it by habit and as we know, habits aren't always good for us. So this weekend, why not try some of the following to shake it up a bit...

1. Get self-aware - when you're chatting with someone, try to really notice what's going on. How are you standing? What do you do with your hands? Are you letting your eyes wander elsewhere? If you're trying be encouraging, is your body language being encouraging too? 
2. Change a little thing - so now you know what you're doing, you know what you can change. Try changing one little thing - maybe tilt your head a little or unclench your hands. Does that get a different response from the person you're talking to?
3. Ask someone - without knowing how you come across, to others, it's hard to know what to work on. So ask someone you trust to give you some feedback. They might be getting a totally different message from the one you think you're giving out.
4. Get a plan - so now you've got some awareness and some feedback, try planning what you might do differently. See how people react to you now.

Now, I'm going to practice what I preach and let's see how the kids react to something different...

Summer Special 1 - Brilliant Blogs

Here's the first of our Summer Specials and it's a great offer for all you wedding professionals who know that  regular, new and engaging blogs are a great way to drive traffic to your site, demonstrate your expertise to your audience and build a great on-line community of supporters for your product or service.

Finding the time to keep writing over the busy summer months can be tricky - with weddings to attend, meetings with clients, family commitments and everything else, it can be tough to find the time to sit down and type. You might not even find writing terribly easy or you might suffer from the odd burst of writer's block. Whatever the reason, can you afford to neglect your blog?

So, let us help you with some bright and breezy blog posts. Here's what you get:

• A post written just for you - you can either give us the title or let us make some suggestions.
• Up to 500 words of copy, delivered to you as a Word ready for you to style and upload when you want.
• If there's specific messages, offers or information you want included, just let us know.
• Total flexibility - book as many as you want to really get your blog moving or just request a couple of posts to make sure you've got plenty of content to get you through a really busy period.
• Each post costs just £10.

We've only got so much space in our diary from now until the end of August so if you'd like to book in, e-mail us now to reserve your slots - thecandidapple@gmail.com We'll send you the necessary booking form and payment can be made either by cheque, bank transfer or PayPal.

Shhh, don't tell everyone but we might have put a special offer on our Facebook page for those extra lovely people that 'like' us there...

Summer Specials - Starting Thursday 4th April

Another quick post this morning to announce that as of tomorrow, Candid Apple are launching the first of our Summer Specials...

What are Summer Specials I hear you ask? Well, we've been speaking with our lovely clients and other wedding professionals over the past few weeks to find out what help they'd like from us over the coming months and it seems like there are certain things lots of you would like. Things that it can be really hard to find the time for over the busy busy summer months but things that are oh-so essential.

So, we've put together some special offers to help. To help you keep on growing your business while you're out making wedding days wonderful for your clients, to help you keep up all the momentum you've built over the winter months and, most importantly, to help you keep some balance over the crazy summer.

The first Summer Special will be launched tomorrow morning - here on the blog and on our Facebook page. We'll be adding special discounts and promotions for all our Summer Specials on Facebook too so make sure you 'Like' us now (because you're going to love us for the Summer Specials, that's for sure!)

Summer 2013 - it's going to be a good one.

The Wedding Professional's Business Conference

So, I'm writing this post with, amazingly, the sun streaming in through the window. This is making me very happy and smiley so it seems like the perfect  time to share some news.

This November sees the first UK Wedding Professional's Conference and I'm really pleased to be able to say that I'm speaking alongside some truly fabulous people including the gorgeous Julia from Brides Up North, the very talented Tina Reading from Ultimate Wedding Magazine and many more (you can check out the list here)

In my sessions, I'm going to be talking about making today's bride want you and knowing your powers to sell you strengths - both sessions are going to be really interesting, full of tips and ideas and also, I hope, a bit of humour!

I'm really proud to be speaking at the Conference - the wedding industry in the UK is full of vibrant, creative and dynamic individuals. And I'm hoping to see lots of them (and yes, that means you!) in November.

Finding Your Voice - Part 2

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So my lovely people, how did you get on with last week's worksheet? Got your list of words? No? Well, I'm really sorry but you can't keep reading this until you've got them so if you've not done your homework, stay behind please and get on with it now...

Right, now we've all caught up, we can get on with today's little installment. So, with your list of words by your side, let's get on with reviewing your current 'voice'.

Firstly, make a list of every way that you communicate with potential clients and industry colleagues. Whether it's your blog, your Twitter and Facebook feeds, your static web pages, your press releases, your standard letters and e-mails - everything that gets your message out there.

Now, I'm sure you know what's coming next. Yes, that's right - you need to review everything. Re-read everything being uber-critical - does absolutely every phrase and paragraph reflect the words that you have selected from our earlier exercise? You don't have much time to get your message across, especially to new contacts so highlight any sentence that doesn't work (we'll be coming back to those pesky little words in our next installment)

If you're finding it tough to be impartial, print out your communications and get someone else to read them and ask them what words sum up those paragraphs. Ask a friend or an industry colleague for their opinions too. Or ask me to have a look, I'm happy to give you some freebie feedback.

I know reviewing all of this might seem like an onerous task but I think you might be pleasantly surprised - it's very likely that there'll be bursts of 'your' voice in your writing already - underline these, see what works for you and be proud of yourself. You've got a really good basis to work from and you know now what you want to change. Perfect.

In our next installment, we'll look at how to keep your voice consistent and how to make it the 'best' you that we can. You're voice is going to be singing like a superstar rather than mumbling by the time we've finished!

A Dirty Word? - Thoughts On Ambition

Earlier this week, I read a piece in the i newspaper that absolutely struck a cord with me. Rebecca Armstrong's excellent feature sung the praises of being amibitious, of wanting more and more importantly, believing that we're all worth more than settling simply for what we have. If you've not read 'Ambition is something we should all be proud of', then take a few minutes out of your day now and give your reading muscles a little exercise.

What I loved the most was Rebecca's rejection of the really rather idiotic idea that it's somehow unseemly to be ambitious or that we shouldn't want better either for ourselves and those we care about.

I'm ambitious. I like to achieve, I like to get things done, I like to improve things and I can't bear standing still. I want better for myself. And I want better for a lot of fabulous people I'm lucky enough to know.

What I don't like however is achieving at the expense of all else. You can still be polite, friendly, funny and human whilst being ambitious. Knowing what you want and what you're going for is so important but you don't need to knock others down and climb over them on the way. What's the point of getting to where you want to go but not having anyone to share it with you when you get there?

Another lesson in ambition this week came from my son's school choir. His choir are very good indeed, they enter competitions, they often do well but, most importantly, the boys enjoy their singing and they all want to do well - for themselves and for each other. They didn't win the latest festival they entered but when the results were announced, they turned around and applauded the winners. No-one told them to. They just did it and they're eleven-year old boys. That's pretty good in my book.

They didn't win but they weren't beaten either. Their ambition didn't stop them appreciating what others had achieved.

So, thoughts on ambition - for goodness sake, be ambitious. Keep striving and believe you're worth everything you dream of and more. Try hard, work hard, don't set limits and don't let anyone scoff at your ambitions. But don't stop being a person - help others achieve their dreams and you'll be surprised who reaches out to you to support you on the way to yours.

Thanks so much for your words Rebecca - I'll definitely be joining you in wearing the 'I AM VERY AMBITIOUS' t-shirt and buying them for my son, step-daughter, family, friends and colleagues too. I want us all to be the best we can be.

Ambition isn't a dirty word. Although if you only care about your own, it can be a very lonely one.

3rd March - The Week That Was

Well, it's been a busy busy week here - one of those weeks that was so full of good things, it flew by in the blink of an eye so here's a little round up of what Candid Apple have been up to this week and, in true work/life balance way, not all of it is 'industry' related...

• Son back to school after half term and in 'summer uniform of shorts - this makes me look forward to longer, warmer days.
• Mornings and evenings being noticeably lighter this week.
• Lovely shopping trip with my Mum and the purchase of a new baking book.
• Writing lots and lots of features and blogs for various weddingy people and loving it.
• The amazing and inspiring Ellie Simmonds opening the swimming pool at son's school and son being chosen to ask her a question.
• Collecting our gorgeous, beautiful and really rather wonderful new dog and bringing her home.
• Being contacted by a real hidden gem of a venue and arranging to meet them.
• Son's school choir taking part in a choral day and watching their performance in the stunning chapel at Wellington College.
• Being sent some truly gorgeous wedding photos to use for features.
• Son's birthday - complete with party tea, fancy cake, balloons and lots of gifts.
• Playing the garden with the dog.
• Meeting up with Julie Tooby for a good industry chat and laughing a lot.
• Enjoying a last minute request for some copy - all written, all on time and all on word-count!
• Son's choir competing in a festival, doing incredibly well and being so impressed with the teaching staff's dedication.
• Booking myself onto Emily Quinton's September photography workshop.
• Deciding which endurance walking challenge I'll be doing this year!
• Turning the page in my diary and seeing that I've got a great week coming next week.

I Love Scarlett - Thoughts On Opportunities & More

My notes from the interview!

Today comes a happy happy post, all about opportunities and the importance of just flipping going for things.

Last weekend, I read on Twitter that a new bridal inspiration journal, Love Scarlett, was looking for writers so, me being me and me loving to write, I got in touch with the incredibly lovely Penelope of Tigerlily Weddings and offered my services. And today, just now in fact, I've done my first interview for a 'real wedding' feature with a truly fabulous bride. It was such fun talking to her about her wedding (which you'll see on Love Scarlett soon). Can you tell I'm still bouncing as I type?!

Anyway, this has taught me three things that I'd like to share with you...

Firstly, as the quote goes 'opportunity only dances with  those already on the dancefloor' - things, chances, opportunities, anything you really want or would like, nothing arrives ready packaged in your lap, served perfectly just for you. You need to make things happen. When I was a teenager (and I can't tell you how long ago that was), I wanted to write. So I wrote to a national children's newspaper that ran at the time and asked. I then got to interview sports stars, bands and do all kinds of things I never would have done. At Uni, I wrote to a Grand Prix team and asked if they wanted any help and ended up writing for them. When I was a wedding planner, I approached literary agents and got book deals both times, approached Debenhams and ended up consulting on their wedding ranges and much more besides. Yes, I might be very lucky indeed but sometimes you need to leap around a bit in the way of luck so that it sees you first!

Secondly, wedding people are lovely people. Penelope has gone out of her way to make me feel welcome and little 'good luck' texts before my first interview were so great to receive. I've also been in touch with more caring, funny, friendly, helpful and talented people this week and it's a joy being in this industry.

Thirdly, my love for weddings is as strong as ever. After all the years of wedding planning, now working with venues and businesses means I don't get much 'me to bride' contact anymore but, thanks to Love Scarlett, I get to talk to some of the happiest, warmest and loveliest brides around. And goodness me, I'm still smiling...

Love Scarlett launches on 1st March - it would be a wedding crime of the most awful kind if you didn't take a look...

How Passionate Are You Feeling Today?

Via Pinterest

Well, are you feeling passionate today? You know what I mean - is your blood pumping and your heart racing with the kind of passion that makes you smile, makes you sing and makes you skip out of bed in the morning? Yes? No? Are you full to the brim with it or are you passion tanks a bit empty?

Of course (and possibly rather sadly) I'm talking about work passion here. I'm a big believer that overall, wedding professionals are some of the most passionate people around - they love their work, they love their clients and they never wake up of a morning and say "oh, do you know, I wish I'd been a quantity surveyor instead."

But, we all know that sometimes, the drudge of the day to day can be quite the passionkiller. I myself have a hatred of the mileage and expense forms that hang in my office like an ever present Grim Reaper, just waiting to cut me off in my creative prime. It's easy to lose your passion and then equally easy to lose your way.

We have to keep developing our passions because it's the best way of nuturing them and letting them power us through the tougher times. Ultimately, it's the deep-down passion that we have that makes us unique, special and really rather brilliant. So, to give you space to think about your passions and to give you the perfect excuse to think about yourself for a moment, Candid Apple have developed a little notebook for you to record all your thoughts and feelings about your deepest desires and hottest passions (again, in a business sense - this isn't some kind of seedy 'Fifty Shades' knock-off here) and, in an act of lurve for you, it's absolutely free.

If you'd like to request a 'How To Develop You & Your Passion For Weddings' workbook then just e-mail thecandidapple@gmail.com and we'll get one e-mailed straight back to you.

Monday Positivity - Olympian Inspiration

At Candid Apple, the team all love their sport so, like many of you, we were glued to the Olympics last summer. And let's face it, it was so easy to be inspired by Team GB and their medal winning exploits.

However, today we read an interview with the oh-so lovely Laura Trott  that's actually way more inspiring than anything we saw last summer. Do read it because Laura's positive nature and love of her unbelievably punishing training schedule is frankly awe-inspiring. She loves what she does - she's chosen to do it, she works at it and she is rewarded for it. She doesn't complain, bitch, whine or moan about all the sacrifices she's had to make and she doesn't think she's the be-all-and-end-all because she can ride a bike. There's lessons in this for everyone.

Yes, sometimes working in weddings is hard - clients can be demanding, it's tough to juggle everything, it's not easy to make an impact, it can feel like you're working hard but getting nowhere. But, do you know what? Any complaining or feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to get you anywhere. What gets you to where you want to be are clear goals, a great support team and a love of what you do. And a happy acceptance that hard work is always going to be required to be exceptional.

So, this week, we're going to be working hard, being nice and remembering that getting to your goals is always easier if you enjoy the journey.

The Big Question - Are You Acting?

via Pinterest

We have all experienced the discomfort of a bride and groom trying to be the couple they are not, and have so wanted to tell them they can have a genuinely happy day just by being themselves. But are we really that different at work?

In business life so many of us are taught to believe that we have to dress and act in a certain way. We don’t have to be kind – “it’s not personal, it’s business”, and we can’t wear colours or patterns – “this is serious”. Perhaps that’s what turns so many people away from business. It’s the falseness of it all, the lack of freedom just to be yourself.

But you are running your own business now! You and your business are all but inseparable. You have the freedom to be yourself if you wish! Of course, it can take some courage to ignore the looks of peers who still follow the mantra, but if acting and dressing in a certain way makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe you need to give yourself permission not to do it. Is it possible your customers can sense your disquiet? Let’s face it, if you can be who you really are at work, you are much more likely to be genuinely relaxed and happy, attract customers who like you for who you are, and customers will probably trust you more without the actor’s mask getting in the way.